Carson

Thu, 16 Aug 2001 04:33:08 GMT

Thank God, the higher-ups have finally realized my credibility as a television personality, or so I have just been informed. I'm going to be hosting "Later" which is, non-ironically, a late-late show on NBC.

I do believe that this is cause to celebrate.

:takes out the Chanel nail-polish:

Fri, 10 Aug 2001 19:31:07 GMT

The network has had me busy for awhile, I did run into a rather inebriated Justin Timberlake a few days back, unfortunately we were in public, so I couldn't lay on the charm as thick as I would have liked to. All in due time, I suppose...

While flipping through the channels this morning, I saw Tara bitching about me to Star Jones on the View. Apparently, I make for good ratings with the unemployed post-menopausal crowd, as well as the underage pre-teen demographic. MTV, are you hearing this? How about putting me on a show with some respectability? God spoke to me once. Maybe we could have God guest-host the show? What do you think?

Sun, 29 Jul 2001 04:45:44 GMT

I wish I knew what the fuck was up with all these cry-baby popstars. Ooh, why don't you cry some more on your next album, you cry-babies?

"If I wasn't a Celebrity..." maybe then you could make a real album. You know, like Fred. That man has passion, he rocks the house, he represents, he brings it, you know?

Not that I bought that pile of crap 'NSTINK album (Yeah, I meant it back at Snowed In, you freaks). I might have glanced at the album in the store a few times, might have torn open the packaging, sniffed the pages of the booklet and ~~imagined that I was inhaling the sweet, sweet scent of Justin's cologne,~~ might have stuck it in my pocket and ran home and listened to it a few times...

But I digress. These popstar bitches are getting all up in my space, getting their own LiveJournals and such. Please, get your own sandbox to horse around in, kiddies.

Oh fuck, I smudged my nail polish. Fucking keyboard.